December 2009
9 posts
Potential Monologue Jokes
An Eastern Washington man was sentenced to one year in jail and fined $3,000 for trafficking bear organs. “This is Eastern Washington, not Idaho,” the judge said.
The man admitted to buying 35 bear gall bladders, including 17 from undercover officers. The undercover officers would have gone after the seller of the bear gall bladders, but then they would not have had any bear gall...
Potential Monologue Jokes
A chess club at an elementary school in Bellevue beat an astronaut at chess. The astronaut said he looks forward to a rematch…IN SPACE.
The astronaut added: “Just joking. Those kids would die before they made it to space. Anyone can play chess. Not anyone can be a goddamn astronaut!”
Then the kids cried. Not because of what the astronaut said but because they live in...
Potential Monologue Jokes
“If you can’t control your kids stay home or go to McDonald’s.”
Jones Soda is considering selling itself to Big Red. Jones Soda has struggled to gain popularity so selling itself to a brand that nobody knows still exists sounds like a great plan.
A garbage collector is challenging five Seattle neighborhoods to reduce waste. The winning neighborhood will receive...
Potential Monologue Jokes
Boeing’s 787 had a successful first flight. A survey of area talk show hosts suggests that nobody cares.
In three hours, 10 million gallons of raw sewage was discharged from Magnolia into Elliott Bay. Sounds like Magnolia needs some loperamide…
A sex shop on Aurora has been for sale for more than a year but nobody wants to buy it. “Why own when you can rent,” a pimp...
Potential Monologue Jokes
A fugitive was arrested in Anacortes because he left his wallet in a suit he took to a dry cleaner. His wallet happened to have a number of fake IDs. The dry cleaner was suspicious of the fugitive because NOBODY wears suits in Anacortes…
The fugitive lived with a roommate in Anacortes. The roommate described the fugitive as a wonderful tenant and cook. “He could have hired out as a...
Potential Monologue Jokes
Because the city is full of prudes.
Frozen ponds and lakes may be dangerous, according to Eastside Fire and Rescue. Thanks for the warning. I figured an extremely slippery thin layer of ice on top of a body of water was perfectly safe…
A bird hunter in Moses Lake accidentally shot himself in the face with a shotgun. While that is somewhat amusing, investigators’ theories about...
Potential Monologue Jokes
Vancouver, WA has hosted a number of “brainstorming sessions” regarding the misconception that Vancouver, WA is Vancouver, BC. Here’s a tip: all such misconceptions are cleared-up as soon as one enters Vancouver, WA. “This is certainly not where I want to be…”
The Vancouver confusion is apparently seriously enough to warrant coverage by The New York Times. A...
Potential Monologue Jokes
A totem pole was apparently stolen from a park in West Seattle. It took a few days to notice that the totem pole was missing from the park because nobody realized there was a park in West Seattle that had a totem pole…
The grand opening of Bellevue’s Les Schwab included free hot dogs. The event was a huge success because the only thing keeping people away from the grand opening of a...
Potential Monologue Jokes
A former member of the Boys and Girls Club of Oak Harbor filed a lawsuit against the club regarding a foosball-related injury that occurred six years ago. What happened? Did he sprain his ankle on his way from the foosball table to the vending machine?!?
Seriously though. A girl filed the lawsuit and claims that she was playing foosball when a handle flew and hit her mouth “causing severe and...
