September 2009
10 posts
Potential Monologue Jokes
Seattle mayoral candidate Joe Mallahan has not voted in 13 of 21 elections since 2001. While he might not make a good mayor, he sure seems like a typical voter.
Most Seattle libraries could be closed on Fridays and Sundays due to budget constraints. GREAT. Where will all the teenagers go now?!?
Lynnwood hired a national branding expert to help the city “develop an identity beyond big...
Potential Monologue Jokes
More than 30 homeless people slept in front of Mayor Greg Nickels’ house last night. The city has given the homeless group’s leaders $300,000 this year. The group is asking for $50,000 more and the sleep-in was meant to draw attention to the issue. Apparently panhandling works so well for individual homeless people that they figured a Voltron-like homeless person would receive even...
Potential Monologue Jokes
Pigeon races around Tacoma typically attract 100 people and their birds. This is the best reason to visit Tacoma yet. Or just another reason to stay away from Tacoma.
In the 1930s, the section of Highway 99 that runs through North Seattle was named “Aurora Avenue North” to evoke images of the northern lights. The street’s name still evokes images of lights: malfunctioning neon...
Potential Monologue Jokes
A newly formed citizen’s group is hoping to reduce gang activity at the the boat launch at American Lake in Pierce County. If gangs are targeting a boat launch in Pierce County of all places, does that mean that the recession is over or far, far, far from over?
A car turning left across Seattle’s light-rail tracks collided with a train on Sunday. The incident was the fourth between...
Potential Monologue Jokes
King County will stop offering animal-control services next year. Finally! Rabid cats and dogs should be allowed the roam in wild packs throughout the suburbs if they want to. This is America!
The county projects that the shut down will result in increased revenue due to all the crazy cat ladies expected move to Kent.
The county hopes that left on their own, the dogs will eventually be...
Potential Monologue Jokes
The insane killer who escaped during a field trip to the Spokane County Interstate Fair said the escape was not planned. Investigators are not sure what to believe, considering that the killer is insane…
Meanwhile, the CEO of the hospital that allowed the insane killer to go on a field trip to the county fair has resigned. The ex-CEO is apparently looking for work as a prison event...
Potential Monologue Jokes
Seattle Children’s hospital is visiting schools in a 45-foot-long science-lab-on-wheels (aka RV) to convince kids that “science is cool.” The “Science Adventure Lab” lets kids wear safety glasses and latex gloves in an experiment to isolate DNA. For some reason this scheme sounds like it was dreamed up by a pedophile…
Amazon.com will expand its fresh-grocery...
Potential Monologue Jokes
The City Council approved a $15 million pedestrian master plan to make Seattle more “walkable.” Among other initiatives, the plan aims to “get more people walking for transportation.” You would think that could be accomplished for a lot less than $15 million, given the price of gasoline!
Two Seattle artists, a filmmaker and a local poet “whose work is rich with...
Potential Monologue Jokes
According to Seattle police, the area around Aurora and 130th Street North is “constantly plagued with prostitutes.” It also happens to be the area I grew up in. THAT’s why I’m always in the area.
The insane killer that recently escaped while on a field trip at the Spokane County International Fair was apprehended 180 miles away from the fair. His escape has really...
Potential Monologue Jokes
An “insane killer” escaped from the Spokane County Interstate Fair. While there is no doubt that he is a killer, authorities are considering re-labeling the killer’s mental state considering that he chose to leave the Spokane County Interstate Fair.
Many Metro bus drivers live “secret lives” according to an exposeby the Seattle Times. Unfortunately, none of the...
